There are a zillion things I would love to share about Teddi, and about our first year together, but as I look back one thing still makes my heart soar, and that is God's faithfulness in bringing my girl "ho-ma" (as Teddi would say). So on this special day I have chosen to share once again, the thoughts I penned in the wee hours of the morning last May 19th, in Guangzhou, China, as the final hours of waiting ticked away . . .
It has been almost ten years since I started praying about adoption back in the fall of 1998, shortly after moving back to Okinawa, Japan, for the second time. God gave me the name Theadora (Gift of God) and I have prayed for Teddi by name for all these years, since way before she was ever born. God had a plan, and it has come to be!
In a few hours I will meet my beloved Teddi girl . . . and the child that has lived in my heart all these years will become my daughter! There have been many times over the years where I have questioned whether God would ever bring His promise to pass. Doubtingly, I have asked, "When Lord?" "Do you still mean it?" "How will we do this?" And most of all, "Where is she, who is she, is she born yet?" Every time I asked, God was faithful to confirm His plan by showing me the name "Theadora" or "Teddi", in the most creative of ways and places. . . clothing tags, movie credits . . . once it was even written on the side of a big truck-- no kidding! God knows when we need really obvious signs!
I didn't know where we would eventually find our daughter, but my heart's desire was always China. God knows the desires of our hearts, oh does He ever!
The noises coming through my window this morning are different than what I usually wake up to. I hear busy traffic, and the occasional honking horn, and peacocks. (I also hear my jet lagged four year old Brogie, wide awake and talking, at 3:00 a.m.) I am in China!
I am in China to receive the long awaited desire of my heart. My "Gift of God", my Teddi girl. God keeps his promises.
In a few hours our little Xiao Xioa will leave the only home she has ever known. She will journey by car for three hours to a destination she does not know, to be embraced by people she has never seen.
Lord in a way that only you can do, please give her peace in her heart. Prepare her for us. Let her know that the words we speak over her, although they are foreign to her, are words of love. . . Love for a child long prayed for, long hoped for, long desired in our hearts.
In a few hours I will meet my beloved Teddi girl . . . and the child that has lived in my heart all these years will become my daughter! There have been many times over the years where I have questioned whether God would ever bring His promise to pass. Doubtingly, I have asked, "When Lord?" "Do you still mean it?" "How will we do this?" And most of all, "Where is she, who is she, is she born yet?" Every time I asked, God was faithful to confirm His plan by showing me the name "Theadora" or "Teddi", in the most creative of ways and places. . . clothing tags, movie credits . . . once it was even written on the side of a big truck-- no kidding! God knows when we need really obvious signs!
I didn't know where we would eventually find our daughter, but my heart's desire was always China. God knows the desires of our hearts, oh does He ever!
The noises coming through my window this morning are different than what I usually wake up to. I hear busy traffic, and the occasional honking horn, and peacocks. (I also hear my jet lagged four year old Brogie, wide awake and talking, at 3:00 a.m.) I am in China!
I am in China to receive the long awaited desire of my heart. My "Gift of God", my Teddi girl. God keeps his promises.
In a few hours our little Xiao Xioa will leave the only home she has ever known. She will journey by car for three hours to a destination she does not know, to be embraced by people she has never seen.
Lord in a way that only you can do, please give her peace in her heart. Prepare her for us. Let her know that the words we speak over her, although they are foreign to her, are words of love. . . Love for a child long prayed for, long hoped for, long desired in our hearts.
Within hours of writing this post, the time came to finally meet our girl. Any of you who have traveled this adoption road before would understand me when I say I had dreamed of this moment, and had spent months playing out different scenarios in my head, of just what it would be like. It's tough to imagine the "flat photo image" that you have held onto for months, suddenly coming to life. What would she be like? Would she cry? Scream? Smile? Would she be bigger or smaller than I imagined? Always, always when I played this magical moment through in my mind, Teddi was wearing a traditional Chinese silk dress, and it was pink. Most of the other girls who had recently left her orphanage had been wearing similar items, so it made sense . . .
We arrived at the Civil Affairs building a few minutes early and our guide motioned for us to have a seat while he checked on things. A few short moments later he reappeared and motioned for us to follow him into an adjoining room. This is were everything became surreal, and slow motion-like, as I realized that each step I took was literally bringing me to my long awaited child . . .
We stepped into the room and there she stood . . . wide eyed and tiny. My breath temporarily left my body, and as my hand went up to cover my mouth two little words barely made their way out. "Hi . . . baby". With teary eyes, I took it all in, and so did she. What did I see? She was small, and beautiful, and scared, and oh so very cute. As I sat down, the orphanage director gently coaxed her to come near. I gave her a few moments to take it all in and then I offered her my lap, and she allowed me to pick her up.
I held her close for a moment and just breathed her in, and then I noticed this . . . She wasn't wearing pink silk after all, but a little white top and a bright pink, flouncy skirt. Over the white top she wore a little boy's denim shirt, open like a jacket. Now this is the part were God winked, really, truly winked . . . on the collar of the shirt was embroidered a tiny teddy bear! I truly could not believe my eyes. In that single moment the years of waiting . . .wondering . . . doubting . . . trusting, all came to a halt, and I knew. Everything within me knew that God had sealed His promise . . . in the very smallest detail, on the collar of a tiny denim shirt.
And there she was . . . but it gets even better.
A few nights later I sat up late in the hotel room, and as everyone slept I went through the Cd's of pictures that the orphanage director had given us (a huge blessing)! Imagine my surprise when this picture suddenly appeared . . .
My girl, in a pink silk dress . . . the very dress I had imagined her wearing each time I had imagined her. The picture was taken on May 9th, just ten days before we would receive our sweet girl. Sometimes I wish I knew who made the wardrobe change . . . and then I remember "the wink" and I know exactly who made the wardrobe change . . .It was my God. The One who knows me. The One who wanted to make sure that I knew without a doubt that this child that I beheld was His plan and His promise. He had given me the desires of my heart and He had signed and sealed His promise. I stand in awe.
My new girl, escorted by her beloved director,
as we moved to the main room to do paperwork.
Once the paperwork was done
it was time for a quick pep talk,
followed by a teary good-bye.
Little bird prepares to fly . . .
and is smiling within moments of our arrival back at the hotel.
Oh precious Teddi, what a year it has been!
You are everything I ever imagined, but so much more . . .
Our Gift of God . . .
our treasure . . .
our promise come true.
Happy "One Year" Family Day Flit, our happy, happy bird! We are so blessed.
Blessings from my believing nest ~
Tina
Thank you baby for 25 years . . . for five beautiful babies . . . for your patient love . . . your encouraging words . . . for saying "I do" and following though, for better or worse, for 25 years!
