Change. It's Here.

My last post (nearly a month ago) was titled, "Change. Here It Comes." Much has transpired since then. Bry's retirement ceremony was beautiful (and the post sits in my draft folder waiting to be finished).  We were blessed to have all of our birds in the nest for three glorious days, and we were surrounded by much love from family and friends. As soon as the festivities were over with, Bry made a trip to Michigan to deliver his truck and our camper, to our new home. He spent a few days working on the house there--with amazing help from our families, and then he flew back on Valentine's Day.  That weekend we made a trip to Austin to celebrate our Brady boy's 21st birthday (another post waiting to happen), we had a wonderful time celebrating with Brady and Sloane! The rest of the days since then have been spent preparing for the move, cleaning out . . . sorting . . . organizing, to get everything ready for the packers.  

And now change is here--in full force.  Tears come easy, but that's okay.  Last night we spent our final night in our great-big-blessing-of-the-house-on-the-hill, we are now in temporary quarters until Saturday morning.  I have been soaking in the view of the flightline and planes-- and beyond that, the view of the San Antonio skyline.  I will miss crawling into my bed at night, after gazing out our bedroom window at the city lights.  As much as I look forward to our new view of woods and wildlife, I know I will miss this time.  Life is bitter sweet right now. Big change.

As the moving truck pulled up yesterday morning, my tummy turned and my heart kind of cringed.  I wasn't ready.  Physically or emotionally.  I just wasn't. A few minutes later, the littles shouted from the breakfast table--"Look at the door"!  I turned, to see a pair of swallows sitting on the tiny ledge of our screen door, looking in. Two perfect little silhouettes framed in my doorway.   No way.  We have one small sapling in our yard--our housing area which is all new, used to be a military obstacle course.  No trees.  We typically see black birds, mocking birds and hawks, never swallows.  Never swallows like my pair of swallows who built their precious nest at our old house, on the other side of town--and raised several broods on my front porch.

Never. Until yesterday, when a pair showed up (during a major windstorm) and decided to take a peek in my front door. I haven't shared this yet, but when we went with the realtor to look at our Michigan house, I stepped out the sliding glass door (of the walk-out basement)-- and looked up as something caught my eye. A nest--built under the protection of the deck that comes out from the top story.  And I knew. I knew that even though this was the only house we had looked at, this was the one. 

So yesterday, as my tummy cringed at change, the Lord took the time to send a pair of swallows to my door--He is never too busy to show us that He knows our hearts.  It was just seconds, really--but He made sure we saw those little birds.  Two tiny pair of wings, two long and delicate tails--come to announce, "He knows.  He knows that your heart is aching at the thought of leaving your babies, your friends, your church family, your military way of life.  He knows that it's hard. That it's bittersweet. He knows, and He cares."  

 (I managed to catch one of our winged messengers, 
when it came back for a second look!)

Thus begins a new journey, to a new nest, a different nest.  A nest that will be away from our babies, but near to our families.  Near to those who have waited so long for us to come home, and are waiting to welcome us with open arms.  And like the swallows, who perhaps were on a new journey of their own, He will care for us.  He will see us gently to our new nest.  He will be there as we make it "home"--as we make it ours.  He will be there when it doesn't feel like "home" yet, to remind me that it will.  He will be there when my heart aches.  He will be there when spring comes in full force, and all is new . . . and I am fully trusting Him to bless our nest. 

Please pray for those we leave behind . . . 

for our Newlys, Brady and Sloanie in Austin.  They amaze me everyday as they excel in their new jobs, and blossom and grow as husband and wife.

For Taye and Frankie and Mo, who have pretty much been a part of our daily lives for the past two years. Okay, Mosie for only three months, but in "Birdie years" that's a very, very long time. Pray for them as their apartment lease nears its end and they look for a little bigger nest.  God has a plan.

And please pray for my sweet friendy, Terry, who I have stood beside since the Lord brought us together almost two years ago.  She continues her battle against the cancer that we so despise, and the battle has grown long.  She is weary.  Pray that the Lord would be her absolute strength, and that as the dimensions of our relationship change, the bond of our friendship will hold firm-- and will see her through this fight.

Pray for us this week as we finish the pack-out process. Everything is now contained, and the guys will load the truck tomorrow.  I am thankful for for the two female movie company employees who just spent two days packing up our entire household-- including the garage.  They rocked the boxes! Go girls!  I am also thankful for my friend, Melissa, who showed up in the midst of the mess, bearing chocolate--that's a sweet friend.  And for our neighbor Ann, who unannounced, came to our door with dinner on the first day of packing-- a huge pan of rigatoni, garlic bread, a salad, and the most delicious homemade pineapple cake, ever.  And for Taylor and Frankie who hosted the littles and our four-legger  last night. And for my sister-in-loves, Dawn and Jan, who have worked tirelessly finishing a couple of big projects for us at the new house. As well as all of the work my daddy did along side Bry.  Kind hearts of service blessing us big.

 In the meantime my own "little family" is all packed up--and I am carrying each one in my heart. They will be the first thing to get unpacked.  First.

And when the going gets tough, 

and things begin to feel a little too serious . . .

I will do my best to remember two things--

  "change comes bearing gifts" . . .

 . . . . and Mosie and his mama already
have an airplane ticket to visit in May.

We can do this!

Blessings from my nest on the move ~

Tina

Change. Here it Comes.

As I begin typing I am not sure where I will head with this post.  I have uploaded the pictures and we will see where they take us.  This is a big week in our household, a big week for our family--each of us.  This week Bryan will officially retire from the Air Force after 30 years of service.  Change.

Bryan entered Basic Military Training here in San Antonio in the spring of 1983-- on the very same base where we have lived for the past 22 month.  Full circle.  Here where they will read his official retirement orders, come Friday.  I remember crying the day he called me from Texas to tell me he had enlisted for six years instead of four.  I also remember the exact spot I stood as I took that phone call in my grandma's Michigan kitchen.  Tears.  How would I ever survive six years away from my family?

Bryan completed a year of tech school, and then flew home to Michigan on military leave.  On May 4, 1984  we were married, and I became a military spouse.  For better or worse . . . for near or far . . .  for home or deployed . . . for renting or buying . . . for packing and moving . . . and packing and moving . . . and packing and moving . . . for change.  

Always change.  

So why is it that nearly 29 years since our day of "I do's" that I find myself wrestling with this change? Shouldn't I be a master at it by now?  After all, there are many, many years of experience under my belt.

We've lived in 15 different homes, and been stationed at eight different bases (and then repeated several).  From a very humble beginning in a single-wide trailer in Mountain Home, Idaho. . . 

to the big beautiful blessing of a base house that we were assigned for our final Texas hurrah.  

We've lived in small town Georgia and we've lived next to the seawall in Okinawa, Japan.  We've enjoyed the winding country roads, and we've been awed by the power and splendor of the East China Sea.  We've driven on the right and we've driven on the left.  We've greeted some neighbor's with "konnichiwa", and others with a long drawn out "hey"--or better yet just a sweet southern wave.  We've become familiar with "y'all" and "all y'all", and fallen in love with the San Antonio skyline (but not the traffic). We've lived near the mountains and we've lived near the beaches.  We've had great neighbors and we've had neighbors that have caused us to try harder.  Our kids have gone to big schools and small schools and been schooled at home.  We've attended many different churches, and have built relationships that are priceless to us. We've lived through years of teary good byes and nervous new hellos.  

Each and every one of these experiences has grown and shaped us--sometimes it was easy, sometimes it felt like the hardest thing we'd ever done--and maybe it was.

Change.

We've come a long way.  From one baby boy in Idaho . . . to a toddler boy and a baby sister in Okinawa.  . . . grown into a Kindergartner and a preschooler in Florida, who are now joined by another baby boy.  Years pass.  

Texas becomes home, and along comes another baby brother.  The first three are now bigs, and then God takes our hearts to China, and our almond eyed treasure makes five.

Beautiful change.

Life moves forward, and the Lord adds a son-in-love,

and then a dear daughter-in-love to our family.

Gifts of change.

And then . . .  oh then, comes the gift-doubled.  Offspring of my own offspring.  The sweetest of blessings, and in an instant with the sound of that first cry, life becomes richer than I could have imagined.  

And I realize that it is change that has brought this wealth, this over abundance of love in my heart.  Overflowing.  For my girl, now a mama, for this new little love-- and for little loves-to-come.

And we are bigger and we are better, and we are crazier then before because change has added to us.     

Yet change also moves us on . . .

Friday morning we will watch proudly as Chief Master Sergeant Bryan Winder becomes Chief Master Sergeant (Retired) Bryan Winder.  Thirty years of service will bear a new title.  Change.

I haven't talked about it much, because sometimes change is hard for those who have to go through this upheaval with us--but here we are, the time has come, and soon.  Soon our backyard view will go from this

to this. . .

and our address will change from San Antonio, Texas to Adrian, Michigan.  We are going back to the one thing that has been a "constant" through the change, we are going home.  Home to parents, and siblings and cousins.  Home to the area where we grew up, and met, and fell in love .  . . 

Funny thing,  the dream has always been to finish and go home.  Had we retired at the usual 20 years we would most likely have returned with our older kids in tow.  Those extra ten years brought lots of, you guessed it . . . change.  Bryce enlisted in the Air Force. Taylor fell in love with a Texas boy.  Brady went off to Spokane, met his wife, got married, and . . .  returned.  

My dream of going "home" never included the part where I leave my big kids behind.  It didn't include the part where I have to watch baby Mo grow through Skype.  It just didn't.  

So I struggle . . . and one minute I'm excited about our new (to us) home in Michigan, with acres to roam and trees to be climbed.  (It's a home with a God story all of its own.)  I'm excited about being near loved ones because it has been way too long. I'm excited about four seasons, and my littles experiencing a crisp Michigan fall for the very first time. And in all of it I know that this is the Lord's plan for us for now. But then . . . . I think of Taylor and Brady . . . and Frankie . . .  and Sloanie . . . . and sweet baby Moses . . . and all those here in Texas who we love . . . and I crumble inside.  

Heart hurting change.

It is then that the Lord speaks one word to me--

Embrace.

He reminds me ever patiently to hold tightly to Him.  

He whispers to my heart, "Embrace the change."

Embrace:  (m-brs) n. eager acceptance

So I ponder this eager acceptance of change, and I wrestle with the embracing of it all.  The Lord then gently reminds me of the good that has come because of change.  The growth that has come as I've adapted to new places.  The strength that has come as I have counted the days through a 365 day remote tour for my husband, parenting solo.  The adaptability of my bigs who have endured change upon change, it has made them who they are-- accepting of others, adventurous, and strong. I have watched as one by one, they have left the nest, a change that rocks a mama's heart--but the rewards of seeing them fly are indescribable.  Change that affirms.  Long ago I watched the Lord change my husband's "two kids is enough" heart-- a nest-filling change.  I have watched an orphaned child leave her three year old world behind. Everything she knew. Yet our girl embraced it, and she embraced us, and she never let go. Unimaginable change brought a gift to us all.  And over the many, many years I have watched proudly as the Lord has promoted my husband. Blessed change. Each promotion bringing with it greater responsibility and higher expectations, and in time the opportunity for another promotion . . . until it has taken him as far as he could go.

Which brings me right back around to where we are today . . .

 with our active duty time drawing to a close, 

and a new journey waiting to begin.

Big, big change.

I did a little search prior to writing this post, and I ran across this quote:

"Change always comes bearing gifts." -- Price Pritchett

Always?  Yes, I think the answer is "yes".  And so I look at change now with old eyes, but new ideas.  If I didn't believe it before this tale unfolded; this idea that change is good, I believe it now.  Change always comes bearing gifts.

Lord, 

I thank you for this journey.

It has been one of great change--

and  has indeed come bearing gifts.  

I praise you for the journey to come. 

 By Your grace I will embrace it--

as I wait eagerly to receive its gifts!

Waiting faithfully on the change.

Blessings from my nest ~

Tina

Birthday Times Three!

Our Teddi girl celebrated her 8th birthday on January 5th! She'd decided months in advance that she wanted a "Chinese" party, so of course I was well prepared. 

But, just in case you ever find yourself unprepared for such an event I've heard that Amaz*n has very pretty, and inexpensive Chinese lanterns.  And I've heard that they will get them to you really, really fast, if say you decided to try their free Amaz*n Prime trial right around Christmas time.  And I've even heard that the FedEx man can probably get those lanterns to your door hours before you need to do the surprise nighttime decorating thing.  Hours, people.

That's planning ahead in my book!  I mean, if I hadn't already done all of that planning ahead!  Pull out some pandas, and a few Chinese souvenirs (like a kite and a parasol that you'd forgotten about) and voila, you are in!

Look at my sweet baby bird. Where has the time gone?

She was so very excited about her special day-- and just as excited about the fact that on her birthday she "catches up" to Brogan.  I now have two eight year olds until March 23rd!

"Auntie" Terry made another beautiful cakes for our girl.

Are these not the cutest little pandas ever?

Thank you, Auntie!

Joyful through the birthday song . . . 

time to blow out candles . . .

(a skill that "cleft mamas"

don't take for granted)--

 good job, Ted!

Lots of birthday blessings . . .

and friends and loved ones to celebrate with.

You've come such a long way baby girl . . .
four was sweet . . .

and EIGHT looks great on you!

Love you, Ted!  Forever.

Now onto the second and third birthdays.

I started this post earlier today, on my sister Amy's 49th birthday.

Today, on her birthday we were both 49.

As I sit here finishing this story

the clock has officially struck

midnight. . . .

and . . .

 I am officially 50!

Happy Birthday to us!

I would like to thank my mama and daddy for giving me the 

best birthday gift I ever received.

My sister.
Thank you mom and dad.

My heart is full.
Fifty years full.
Blessings by the thousands.

Thank you Lord, for fifty years.

Thank you for my Chinese treasure.
Long awaited.
Sweetly eight.

Thank you for my birthday sister . . .
for shared cakes . . .
and shared clothes . . .
and shared bunkbeds . . .
and secrets.
For shared happy
and shared sad . . .
for shared quiet . . .
and shared laughter, very loud.
For mommy trials
and mommy victories-- all shared.
Thank you for giving me a sister
to walk this road called life.

Thank you Lord for my true love, Bryan,
and for our nest that You filled.

 For "bigs" soaring,
and for "littles" in the middle
of flying lessons.

Thank you for
the face of Moses.
Your gift of him makes this
Birdie's heart fly high!

Thank you for crazy love.

We do it well.
Oh so well.

Thank you Lord, for fifty.
I like it-- and I love You.

Blessings from my birthday nest ~

Tina