Just Gotta Share . . .

these thoughts from my heart!

Last Thursday was a tough day for me . . . late Thursday night I penned my Thankful Thursday post, I did so with a grateful heart, but honestly the day had been hard. Really hard. I had purposed to pray and fast for sweet Jubilee (many of you know her story and were praying and fasting as well). It goes without saying that the enemy hates when we commit ourselves to prayer and fasting, and by the end of the day I felt beat up. I crawled into bed feeling like a failure. Feeling like the few prayers that I had managed to stumble through during the day were certainly nothing short of miserable.

I know better. I know that God hears even the tiniest of our pleas. I know that even when we can't manage a single word, let alone complete a thought, He knows our thoughts. He knows our hearts. He knows our stumbling and our mumbling . . . and He loves us more than we can imagine, in spite of ourselves.

I would love to say that I woke up joyful on Friday morning, reminding myself that, "His mercies are new every morning!" Instead I woke with a heavy heart and that same beat-up feeling, asking Him to forgive me for my failings the day before. Never could I imagine the ways the Lord would smile on my new day . . .

I dropped the "littles" off at school and returned home. I sat down at the computer with a bowl of cereal and was doing a quick check of my email when my door bell rang . . .

Let me back up a minute . . . One of the things I had mentioned in Thursday's post was that I was thankful for "new neighbors to get to know". We live in military housing and we are approaching our fourth year at this assignment--long for us. Long for most others as well, which is why we watched most of our street "turnover" this summer. Everyone left. But us. Lots of new neighbors to get to know . . . leaving me pondering how to go about doing that . . . when, in steps my faithful Father.

Many of the neighborhood moms walk in the morning after dropping off kids, now that school is back in session. (Great opportunity to meet new neighbors, if you aren't eating cereal at your computer.) Carry on Tina . . . So, unbeknownst to me, two such moms were stopped chatting out in front of my house. One mom, with a toddler in a wagon. One with a toddler in a stroller. "Wagon toddler" decides to climb out and explore . . . up my sidewalk . . . up my three porch steps . . . and (before her mama can reach her) straight to my doorbell . . .

"Ding- dong . . . God calling . . . come out and meet your new neighbors!" I decide I should go out and introduce myself to the now embarrassed mom, and her friend. Before all was said and done a group of three more moms would stop and join in our chat. Two of them I knew from last school year, but hadn't seen recently. Eventually, we introduced ourselves around, and I now know three new moms from my neighborhood. All because a toddler, not so coincidentally named Grace, came to ring my doorbell. God calling.

God had smiled on me, His girl. The same girl who fell asleep feeling like a failure. The same one who woke up worn out. Oh, how long will it take me to realize that it is nothing that I do that makes Him love me? Just as it's nothing that my own children do that makes me love them. I love them simply because they are mine, and my love is unconditional. He loves me simply because I am His, and His love is unconditional! Friday morning He was determined to remind me of His love!

An hour later I stepped out my front door to run an errand before picking up Teddi. One step away from my door my phone rang--had it been two more steps I would have never heard the phone through the closed door. God calling. Again. It was my dear friend (and old neighbor) Melissa . . . the friend, who along with my friend and neighbor Robin, prayed me through Teddi's wait. They were both waiting mamas as well, Robin for Claire, and Melissa for Katie--if you have been a waiting parent you understand the bond this creates. The tough part was, Melissa moved to Japan the very week we were meeting Teddi in China. Soon after Teddi came home, Robin's sweet Claire also came home from China. Melissa would continue the wait for several more months, before finally being united with her long awaited Katie, in Mongolia . . .

Sorry guys, but I can't tell a short story . . . so it was Melissa calling. Sadly, she and her family have had to travel to Texas from Japan due to her father-in-law's going home to be with the Lord. The silver lining for me? They will be coming our direction later in the week, and I will finally meet her long awaited Katie and she will meet my littlest bird! Once again, in the middle of my morning, God was saying, "Here my girl, is another desire of your heart." Oh how He loves me.

I hung up with Melissa and went to pick up Teddi. We decided to stop at the base Thrift Store on our way home (I love it). As we were leaving, a sweet Asian lady, fifty-ish I'd guess, smiled at Teddi and asked how old she was. I told her, and then for whatever reason, I was prompted to share with her that we had brought Teddi home from China a year ago. She smiled again and told me that she was from Korea. She then asked if Teddi was my only child. I said no, that Teddi was number five, and I ran through my "nest list". With a little apprehension she then asked why we decided to adopt from China. When I told her that it was really something that God had orchestrated, she broke out in a huge grin and replied, "I knew it!" We talked for nearly twenty five minutes . . . I shared Teddi's story with her, and my new "friend" shared precious thoughts with me. She told me how her friends complain about the things they don't have, when she wonders why in the world God would bless her with so much . . . a good husband, a grown son, a nice home. (It was my Thankful Thursday post, come to life.) She also shared her gratefulness for the opportunity she has been given to live in the United States. She shared how absolutely blessed she is by the fact that in America people are so excepting of her, and of each other. She said, "Oh there are prejudice people once in awhile . . . there are the stares that come . . . but mostly, more than any other country, Americans accept one another." She was so genuine, so humble, and so grateful to be an American. She also could not say enough about how it pleases her to see adoptive parents and their children--from all over. I can't explain in words how encouraging our whole conversation was, nor can I explain Teddi's patience that lasted through our entire meeting . . . it was, once again, an encounter set up by my faithful Father. My new friend's name? Sunny.

This was all before lunch! I had gone to bed the night before feeling like I had failed. I woke up beat up. I was tired, and feeling very far away from God. Did He meet me where I was? Um, no. He came running to me. Running in the form of a two year old with a thing for doorbells! Running in the form of a ringing phone, and a dear friend's cherished voice. Running to me in the form of a stranger named Sunny. He would continue to provide opportunities throughout the day for encouragement--some I received, and more that I was able to give.

My faithful Father would wrap up my day in a way only He is capable of. With rain. Glorious rain. Rain to soak our drought stricken, Texas earth. And then, as if to sign His name to this day only He could have made-- came a rainbow, low in the sky, and very near. A precious, precious promise.

Oh how He loves me. Oh how He loves us.

Blessings from my teary-eyed nest~

Tina

But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. ~ Psalm 13:5